don't forget me when i'm gone
by sanskrits
Summary: — because sometimes dreams take us to different places. / to whom it may concern, this is my last PJO fic. details inside. / for dee and di


_for dee and di, who've been with me from the very beginnings of my PJO journey_

. . .

Jason doesn't want to leave camp. He doesn't want to really be a _Pontifex_ ; honestly, he wants to sit on his bed and talk to Piper and Percy and hug Nico (whilst not-so-subtly trying to get him with Solace) and grieve for Leo.

But that's not what _he'd_ want. And this is what the gods need.

It always comes down to them, doesn't it? They make the messes from their skies above, all the way up the 600th floor of the Empire State Building, and they leave the demigods down below, the mortals, the peasants and insignificants in a kingdom of the world, to clean them up.

Jason made a promise to Kym. He's going to keep it, because he is not a god, and he is not a mortal; he is more than a mortal and less than a god, and both are the types to break promises. Demigods know pain and demigods know death and demigods know promises.

So he goes and he says goodbye. It is for the best. It is for the gods. It is a necessity. It's peace.

"I've got to go," he tells everyone. "But take care."

He smiles at Reyna, a little guiltily. They'd dreamed of different things — Reyna had dreamed of him and another shoulder to rest on and Jason had dreamed of Piper and a brush of soft lips on his. Their dreams took them to different places — he's fine with it. He's made peace. He needs to spread it.

He looks at Piper and pecks her on this lips. They're each others' dreams. He hopes he'll return to her in time.

He looks at Nico and he gives him a hug. He wants to help him fulfill his dreams. He hopes he'll return to see them true.

But this is the last part of his camp's journey. This is adulthood, a new era, and Jason's moving forward.

. . .

 **a/n: this is a really symbolic fic for me — my eightieth!**

 **this story is dedicated to my amazing besties on this site: di and dee. you both are just my rocks. i don't even know if i'd still be on FFN without you, but you guys make my day. i love logging in just to see your messages and respond openly to them and i love coming onto FF and competing in the same challenges as you and just...** _ **connecting.**_ **you guys are the best; you're probably one of the reasons why i've stuck with this fandom so long.**

 **i'm really sad that i have to make this announcement on what's kind of a milestone, but i just can't do this anymore.**

 **i am not quitting FanFiction. just PJO. because i can't deal with this.**

 **i can't write for PJO without being totally and completely embittered. i can't connect with the characters anymore. it's been so long since i've tapped into canon and read good fic for this fandom that it's just become really negative for me. i wrote** _ **Our Fandom Needs Fixing**_ **a short while ago, and received pretty good responses to those, and i've tried to contribute good and original works to the fandom, but i still just can't continue anymore. it's tiring to write for this fandom and it's tiring to see my stories** _ **constantly**_ **overlooked for other fics that haven't got nearly as much thought process into them as i put into each one of my fics.**

 **i write with my heart and i put my soul and my mind out there in every fic for this fandom. i don't really write for forums on this that much. i do it for the feedback and the fun and to help my writing skills grow. and i used to get both. but now? now i'm lucky to get three reviews on a one-shot and i'm lucky to actually get concrit — which i need to improve. this fandom is dying and now i just don't believe it can be saved. and as i've stated before, PJO is now tiring for me — i'm not a child anymore. i have a more complex worldview and have formed opinions of my own and i try to explore Riordan's characters, but PJO is kid-oriented. don't get me wrong. i love PJO. it's amazing and it was one of my first fandoms; plus the amazing representation Riordan adds into his books. but i'm moving on and i'm growing up and out of this series.**

 **i will still be continuing with** _ **something wicked this way comes**_ — **i never completely abandon fics, and** _ **something wicked**_ **was no drabble collection i wrote on a spur of the moment; it was completely planned out start to finish, and it's AU and i can really write refreshingly for it because i tried to make my characterizations serious but humorous.** **i will still be running** _ **querencia,**_ **because it's my baby and my attempt to challenge writers to make original, amazing content, and i love it and the writers on there so much; i would really hate to abandon it before it reached its full potential.**

 **i don't really have a name on this site. sure, i'm** _ **extramundane epeolatry,**_ **that one writer on here who never capitalizes anything, but no one really knows who i am. i want to write for a more broad, diverse section of fandoms that i actually enjoy and can cherish —** _ **white collar, six of crows, flash, arrow**_ **(when i'm focusing on the positive s1/2),** _ **the selection, harry potter, ouat,**_ **etc. and i want to build myself up from the PJO archive, which is only bringing me down.**

 **this quit will not be a complete cold-turkey one. i might pop in here and publish poetry/drabbles, maybe something for my forum(s). PJO will always hold a place in my heart and i'm forever going to remember my time in this fandom. so no, i can't quit completely, but it'll come pretty close.**

 **i met some of the most amazing people through this fandom. i'm so grateful for that.**

 **i just want to say,** _ **Thank you for your time, PJO. i'll miss you, but i'm moving on.**_

 **sincerely,**

 **victoria.**


End file.
